I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
