how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
