Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm too high and old for this...
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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