i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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