I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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