Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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