Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Randomize
