Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
