He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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