is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
