the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
