:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
