Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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