I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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