So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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