I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
