My hand turned me down
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
