tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
