that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
