This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
