Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
false alarm. still invincible.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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