ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
please come you make the beer taste better
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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