I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
