I am in a vortex of obligation.
Its about making memories worth repressing
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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