I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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