Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
