Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
