so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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