Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
