Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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