ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Randomize
