How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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