the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Randomize
