did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
