Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize