well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
