You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
