you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
