I like my sex mixed with concussions.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
