I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
