what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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