is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
