i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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