he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize