The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
