i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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