Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
high people should be assigned attendants
organizing the empties. That sober.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize