Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
