are you still at the devil's house?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
