So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
