Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize