I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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