Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
