I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
