why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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