i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
