No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She said her name was "party"
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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