i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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