True but thats because hes a fetus.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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