u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
