Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
