bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
