Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
