It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think I won the penis lottery.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
