do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
